1. Contemplate starting a blog but become paralyzed at how to actually begin.
2. Research online "what to write for first blog post" and "first blog post" and "writing first blog post" and dozens of variations until you grow homicidal over the amount of searches that read "...so I read a blog on the first..."; "...he said how does she do that..."; "...took the kids to The Hitching Post..."
3. Conclude Google is not going to help me here and I'm on my own.
4. Decide procrastination and distraction are good tools to defeat self-loathing for not being able to do what obviously thousands of people have done.
5. Borborygmus is the word for the rumbling/gurgling sound caused by movement of gas in intestines.
6. Release neurotic expectation of perfection and thoughts of hiring a task force. Replace with acceptance of anxiety and doubt but write something anyway.
7. Hi, I'm Jeannine. Welcome to my blog.